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My Daughter's Tantrums Get Out of Control

Question:

My 4-year-old daughter is an angel, except when she gets angry, she totally loses it – screaming, crying and throwing her toys. What should I do?


Right now, your daughter doesn't yet know how to deal with her anger in an appropriate manner, so you have to be her coach and teach her how to manage her emotions.

But first, you have to lay down the ground rules: For example, "We don't throw things – you could hurt someone or break something."

Encourage your daughter to communicate her emotions instead, such as saying how mad she is feeling and what she feels like doing. The idea is to let her express her emotions through words rather than action.

But if she starts throwing her toys again, don't yell or sound angry. Simply take them away from her for an hour or two until she has calmed down, then sit down with her and explain why she shouldn't throw things.

Be sure to acknowledge her efforts at controlling herself. And be patient: It'll take time but eventually she will learn that being able to relate her feelings is more satisfying than throwing a fit.



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